Navigating Parenthood
by Ellarose88
Summary: Ten years have past since the rebellion, and Katniss and Peeta decide to have a baby. It doesn't take them long to realize that parenthood is really just an endless journey of moments where you worry that you've killed your child. A 13 part story. Post-Mockingjay/Pre-Epilogue.
1. Chapter 1

This was written for the everlarkficexchange Springtime 2016 challenge over on Tumblr. It was based on the prompt submitted by an anon who requested the following prompt: " _parenthood is basically an endless string of moments when you think you've killed your kid_ ".

To the Anon that requested this prompt, thanks so much for the idea. I really hope I do your prompt justice. This story will be a work in progress and should have 12 parts in total.

I want to extend my thanks everyone over at **everlarkianarchiveschat** , I especially want to thank **katnissdoesnotfollowback** , **thegirlfromoverthepond** , **booksrockmyface** , and **bookgirl318** for helping me come up with scenarios. I also want to thank **herainab** for editing this and making sure it was all ready to post!

* * *

 ** _The Panem Daily:_**

 _The Star-Crossed Victors from District Twelve finally welcome a baby girl…_

 _Sources from District Twelve have confirmed that the Mockingjay, Katniss Mellark and her husband Peeta Mellark, have welcomed a baby girl over the weekend. While, the Mockingjay and her husband have kept a very low profile since the Rebellion - only having visited The Capitol once in order to commemorate the 5th Anniversary of the Rebellion - reliable sources from the district have spoken to us about the arrival of a baby girl for the Victors. Though, we're yet to hear the name of the baby, we hear that mother and baby are doing well after a home delivery._

 _We'll keep you informed on any more developments on the Baby Mockingjay._

It's only been a few days and the birth of their baby girl has already made it into the national paper. Katniss tries to keep her anger to a minimum, especially as she currently has the subject of said news slumbering in her arms, but it's hard not to feel some fury over the invasion of privacy.

She understands that her and Peeta will always be a topic of discussion due to their roles in The Hunger Games and the Rebellion, and even though it bothers her she's come to accept it - but not her daughter. Her and Peeta are determined that their little girl Willow will grow up without the media trying to follow her every move (well as much as possible since the media have their ways).

Feeling the furious beating of her heart, Katniss takes a slow, deep breath and then gently breathes out. She knows that while Willow is only two days old, she can sense when her mother is distressed or upset and responds in kind. And since, Willow has had a terrible night and has finally fallen asleep after Katniss had taken her for a stroll in her pram around the garden, she doesn't want her baby waking up and finding her distressed.

She's been napping for forty-five minutes when Katniss sees her darling girl slowly open her deep blue eyes, the exact same color her father's has, before she begins to wail. Though, it's only been a couple of days, Katniss knows she is hungry. So she gently places the baby against her heart with her head against her shoulder. She discovered Willow likes hearing her heartbeat. She slowly rises from her place on the sofa and heads to the kitchen to get her bottle.

"Shhhh… It's alright Willow. Mommy's getting your bottle." Katniss tries to reassure her daughter, while she one handedly opens the fridge door to get the milk she expressed earlier out to heat it up. Unfortunately, her foot somehow gets caught in the door as she tries to close the fridge door, and she nearly trips, dropping Willow. Luckily, she manages to keep her balance and has her daugther secure in her arms, but the disruption causes Willow to cry harder.

 _Oh crap! I can't believe I nearly dropped her! I could have killed her!_ Katniss thinks while she comforts her daughter, battling the voice in the back of her mind that is telling her she is a terrible mother. _I'm may not be the perfect mother but I did manage to prevent myself from falling and taking her with me._ Katniss tells the voice back determinedly. Finding that that does the trick and the voice goes away.

Finally the microwave beeps, signally that it's finished and Katniss takes the bottle out and checks if its ready on the palm of her wrist like her mother told her. While,Katniss was never that close to her mother and had problems with the way her mother coped after her father's death and then her sister's death, but over the years Katniss and her mother have managed to build a kind of close mother/daughter relationship. Her mother was even the one who delivered Willow - Katniss not wanting to give birth at the district's hospital, she knew how much of a skilled nurse and midwife her mother was and trusted her to be the one to safely deliver her child.

Having concluded that the milk is alright to give to Willow, Katniss goes to sit down on the rocking chair that Peeta had made and starts feeding her daughter. Five, ten minutes past and she hears the lock at the door turn, before the door opens and she hears her husband's heavy footsteps as he walks in through the hallway into the family room.

Peeta instantly smiles when he sees his wife and daughter together on the chair, before he makes his way to them both. After giving both of them a kiss on their foreheads, he sits on the sofa in front of them "How are you two?" He asks.

She knew he was wondering how she coped with their newborn daughter for couple of hours without him. Peeta was having a few weeks off to help Katniss with the baby, but unfortunately his right-hand man Thom had rung him in a state as a few afternoon staff members called in sick and he was needed until the next person could begin their shift.

Katniss laughs and sarcastically replies, "Good, good, except for the moment when I nearly dropped and killed our daughter, it's going really good."

"Oh Katniss," Peeta reassures his wife, kneeling down in front of his wife and daughter. "It's okay. You didn't drop her, and honestly even if you did - which honestly is highly unlikely considering your reflexes - babies are resilient." He places his hand on her thigh, "My older brother dropped me on my head when I was a baby and I turned out okay."

Katniss laughs.


	2. Chapter 2

To the Anon that requested this prompt, thanks so much for the idea. I really hope I do your prompt justice. This story will be a work in progress and should have 13 parts in total. I want to extend my thanks everyone over at everlarkianarchiveschat, I especially want to thank katnissdoesnotfollowback, thegirlfromoverthepond, booksrockmyface, and bookgirl318 for helping me come up with scenarios. I also want to thank herainab for editing this and making sure it was all ready to post! Also thanks so much to everyone who commented, liked, and followed my story. I appreciate your enthusiasm and support. Once again, comments and likes are very much encouraged and appreciated :)

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 _ **A week later...**_

 _"Hush, little baby. Don't say a word. Mama's going to buy you a mockingbird._

 _And if that mockingbird won't sing, Mama's going to buy you a diamond ring._

 _If that diamond ring turns brass, Mama's going to buy you a looking glass…"_

Peeta watches in awe while his wife sings softly to the bundle in her arms, as she gently sways their little Willow in a perfect rhythm to encourage her sleep. It's surreal for Peeta sometimes when he looks at his life and the little family him and Katniss are beginning to create. He has to pinch himself to know that it is real, because despite everything that happened with The Games and the Rebellion - not to mention the torture they both suffered and the scars that remain - here they are, married with a newborn.

Sure, it isn't alway perfect. Both of them still have days when the memories and nightmares get so bad, when he'll have flashbacks that trigger a hijacking moment, but they manage. They manage knowing that they have each other. That no matter how bad it gets, there is always light at the end of the dark tunnel. Plus there's always Haymitch and the other Victors - like Johanna and Annie - who are also in the same boat as them and have been very supportive over the years. Johanna and Annie, along with her son, have even visited them over the years. Even staying for a couple of weeks when Peeta and Katniss decided to make their relationship official with a toasting ceremony.

Finally, Willow drifts off into a deep slumber and Katniss places their daughter into her crib. They then both place the knitted blanket Katniss's mother knitted over their baby, before gently kissing her goodnight on her forehead.

Peeta then watches Katniss place the baby monitor near the crib with an uncertain look in her silver eyes as she turns it on and he doesn't even need to ask why.

Ever since Willow was born, they would both worry because their baby was such a quiet sleeper, they couldn't hear her over the monitor. Katniss, especially would start panicking, thinking that Willow wasn't breathing, before rushing into the nursery to check on her. With Peeta trailing close behind - surprising given he had to attach his prosthetic leg - they both would check to see if she was breathing, and she always was. It always surprised them how quiet a baby's breathing could be. Of course they knew that babies are small, so therefore their breathing wouldn't be loud. But it didn't occur to them that babies could be so silent until their little bundle of joy had arrived.

Not only was the inability to hear Willow over the baby monitor making them worried, but it was also making them both lose sleep. Well, more sleep, seeing as Willow was a newborn and needed to be fed every four hours.

Peeta, knowing that he didn't want them to suffer any more anxiety and sleep deprivation, contacted Beetee a few days ago asking him if he could come up with some kind of device that could monitor Willow's breathing . Beetee told him, excitedly, that the Capitol has just released a new baby monitor which could not only allow parents to hear their babies cry, but detect when the baby was breathing, or having difficulty breathing. Excited by this news, Beetee assured Peeta that he would send them one immediately on the next express train to District Twelve.

Today the package finally arrived and Peeta wanted it to be a surprise. Lucky for him, Katniss decided it was time for her to take Willow for a little walk to visit Greasy Sae and her granddaughter. So while his wife and daughter were on their outing, Peeta set up the devices in their bedroom and the nursery.

Before Katniss places the monitor near the crib, He interrupts her, pointing to the device, "We won't be needing that." He tells her.

Katniss looks over at him, confused and wondering what the hell he is thinking. Especially since she was not the only one concerned with their daughter's sleeping habits.

"What I mean is," He explains gently, while slowly walking over to the chest of drawers and taking out the new monitor, before continuing, "I rang Beetee the other day about Willow's sleeping habits, and he told me that they have just come up with a new baby monitoring device that not only allows us to hear Willow crying, but it can detect whether she is breathing normally or having trouble breathing and alert us." He finishes his explanation and passes the device over to his wife for her to look at.

While Katniss is examining the monitor, Peeta tells her that while her and Willow went on their little excursion, he had the devices set up and assured her that he tested them to see if they worked. Katniss asked him how he managed to do that, causing her husband to laugh before he explained that he actually tested them out with Haymitch. Leaving her to wonder how much baked goods Peeta offered Haymitch before he consented to being used as a 'guinea pig'.

Katniss finally finishes giving the monitor a once over, before handing it back to Peeta, who attaches 'said device' onto the crib in-line to where Willow's head lays on the cot. While he does this, he hears a yawn and knows that Katniss isn't the only one who is knackered. Once the device is attached, Peeta switches it on, before making his way over to his wife and gathering her in his warm embrace.

"Now Wife, I think it's time we went to sleep also." He whispers into her ear, tiredly - though Katniss could detect a huskiness to his tone that still after all these years made her knees feel weak. Unfortunately, Willow's birth and the eleven stitches she needed meant that any vigorous activities - especially those involving the bedroom - were off-limits until she's healed.

Nodding her head in agreement, they slowly patter out of the nursery and into their bedroom which is only across the hallway. They quickly undress and change into their sleeping clothes, Peeta clad only in boxers, Katniss in a soft, simple pale pink linen nightie that still allows her to breast-feed.

Peeta opens the window, a habit he's had since he was little, it doesn't even matter what the season is, he has always needed the window open. And luckily for him the weather lately has been warming up, since Katniss was pregnant she found it hard to cope with the window open, especially during winter.

As soon as he has finished with the window, Peeta finally joins his wife in bed. Allowing them to get into their usual sleeping positions. Katniss places her head on her husband's chest, while draping her arm across his stomach. While Peeta wraps one of his arms around her, and joins his fingers with hers on his belly. With the other hand, he gently strokes her hair, and the combination of this and his heartbeat has Katniss sleeping in no time. And not much time passes before Peeta is drifting off to sleep too.


End file.
